life's been not much of an amusement nowadays.

choir's been leaning towards the downward motion, in physics context. moving in constant deceleration.. whatever. but its heartening to see that admist these battle periods, sop2s are finally struggling out of our cocoons to emerge.. and to face the world. recently discovered a very serious error in the technicality of my voice. and its really saddening.

physics is another major tsunami that adds to my world of natural disasters; i dont get a single conclusion or even an idea out of what is written on the board. and apparently no one gets it, well at least its heartening to know that im not alone.

workload's been terrible. had choir till 6, then cabbed home for tuition (omg i have TWO math tuitions) till like 930, and ate dinner in front of the computer doing LA. seriously.. is this called a no-lifer? or is it due to my horrible time management hahaha. been sleeping around 1 every night without afternoon naps, horrible, horrible.

anyway, am very puzzled about human connections/relationships. sometimes i really feel like a failure in the art of communication, sometimes too excessive and at other times too passive.
i dont want a place that means love for the same activity to turn into a dungeon with stereotypes or other things that you might have in mind. i dont know, maybe its just me and my over-sensitivity again (how i wish i can be blind and deaf)
another thing thats been hitting on me real hard is the thought of how i dont seem to be of any use almost everywhere. its probing on me so hard i want it to go away.

like, so what if im not in it anymore? i know that i didnt deserve it in the first place and now i dont earn what everybody has. its probably within my control, but i guess thats just the way i am, no matter how i try to change.

it starts with a big F for failure.