WHEN EVERYTHING COMES CRUMBLING DOWN

had a sudden urge to update, after a long period of being a workoholic.

school's been chaotic, seriously.

so many things to handle, so many things to worry about, so many things to doubt, so many things to calm myself down about, so many things to do.

but, so little time.

thats the way life is, and i just wish the clock will tick slower.
because everything's coming in a rush.

firstly, i find that nowadays im being a super "slow" person.
there'll at least be a "huh?" in a day. and everytime i come back running a stupid errand or something, i realise i missed out on something while i was away. and then i end up getting so blurred up and muddle-headed.
secondly, MANY things have been going on without me being aware of them. like how you usually asked me to go with you to find her? things change a lot, they change very drastically.
and it does not help at all, to find out that people are expecting so much more, that people are hiding so many things from me.
thirdly, it just seems that i dont do anything for OM, which is on task. i have no idea why. but i get really clueless when i stare at those props, those costumes. and i have to rely on others to tell me what to do. its that i like it; i definitely do not like being such a sotong and always asking around for some stupid things or for what i have to do. im sorry, because i feel that i've let my OM team down, by a whole lot.
i can get so irritated i snap at people; i just keep quiet and people think im emo-ing.

be it in the aspect of being in my class, in my OM team, in choir;
im just really really exhausted.
almost blew my top off; like a volcano today. and concurrently it was geography. felt that the immense heat was unbearable, so much that the "magma" threatened to escape through my eyes.

worse still, i highly doubt i'll pass chem SPA. today i was totally clueless about what to do, since i have never once flipped or even glanced through those science notes.

another thing, i heard that my group didnt get in to OM singapore. by right, it wasnt supposed to have a great impact. after all, the main thing was the judging, the grading.

it may seem a little exaggerated, but i think nothing's going right. everything's going so haywired although in the end it seems that it isnt that bad. im sure i'll regret saying all these sooner or later, but right now i just feel like going to sleep and never wake up, ever again.

audrey, happy birthday!